the Long's Strange Trip
into the unknown...
1/19/01 EMERGENCY Report
Submitted for your consideration...the story of Randy, a mild-mannered Marietta monkey, contentedly living a mundane, sedate suburban lifestyle on the outskirts of Atlanta with everything a monkey could want.
And yet one cold winter day, in February 2000, Randy left his comfortable lifestyle. In the middle of the night he ventured out in the world, in search of greater things. This small, plastic, uneducated monkey went out to change the world, from fighting for rebel causes, to spreading the truth among the masses. Today he is widely loved, and his popularity rivals that of L. Ron Hubbard. And today, he is missing.
Did Randy mysteriously fall into some Bermuda Triangle of SE Asia? Has he been transported into another dimension, or perhaps abducted by an alien race, (as in this AP photo of a young Moroccan man being abducted by one of these heinous creatures.)
Or has his consciousness reached such a high level that he has simply vibrated into the ether in a state of bliss, as many of his followers claim?
Can you help? If anyone has seen Randy, or has information as to his whereabouts, please contact the Cobb County sheriff's office, or contact us here at email@example.com
PLEASE HELP! WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED TO RANDY? SEND IN ANY INFORMATION YOU HAVE (OR CAN MAKE UP).
We're not coming home without finishing this fascinating tale. Only you can prevent us from staying in Bali forever.
Send any information or ideas to us here. (Maybe your name will be drawn for a Bali souvenir if you're lucky).
BREAKING NEWS! RANDY SIGHTING!!
12/17/00 Special Report
One of the things you don't want to be burdened with when traveling is a needy travel companion, someone who's hand you have to hold, who always wants to know what the plan is, or someone who gets too nervous when the price of the accommodations falls below $5 per night. Fortunately, Randy is not one of those types. Randy has been with us since the very beginning of the trip, and has never been hesitant to go his own direction when the winds of fate gave him a tug or nudge.
Nevertheless, being such long-time travel companions has caused us to grow close to our traveling monkey friend. So we are quite distressed that we have not seen him since August 20.
Or had his search for truth and enlightenment ended fruitless and frustrated. Was he instead, headed for Hollywood ?
Well dear readers, our intriguing and heart-wrenching tale is not over yet, though the final chapters draw near. Where is Randy now? Has he found his true self, and does he know what he wants to do when he grows up? Or will he forever travel the world, in a desperately unfulfilling search for love and adventure ?
Only Randy can give us the answers to these, and many more questions. Please help us find him. He was last seen somewhere in Southeast Asia. An alert reader sent in the only known photo of Randy since sometime in August. If you have seen anyone matching his description (driver's license records describe him has a small plastic monkey), please email us immediately.
Also beware, Randy is a master of disguise!
Here are chronicled the grand adventures of Randy, and his wild travels as he searches for truth, meaning, and good times throughout the world.
Our tale begins in the small hamlet of Marietta, Georgia, where Randy lives a quiet existence on a friendly cul-de-sac, spending his time fetching beers for his parents, Dan and Therese Clark. But something is missing. Is this all there is to life? Where is the meaning? Where is the gusto? Randy yearns for something more....a cause...a purpose...
So in the middle of the night, during a full moon, Randy quietly slips out of the house, and takes off for places unknown.
It doesn't take long for Randy to make a new friend, Zapatista revolutionary Marcos Garcia. After meeting at a local cantina and downing several tequilas, Marcos explains the Zapatista cause to Randy, and Randy is moved.
Randy adopts a new look, and heads to the birthplace of the Zapatista movement, Chiapas Mexico.
Randy experiments with new religions and local stimulants as he continues his travels south to Peru.
Having some tequila with his new girlfriend, Pachamama.
Travel can bring about changes, as one has new experiences, new ideas, and sees new cultures and different ways of being. It makes one think.
His Zapatista activities bringing the unwanted attention of the South American authorities, Randy has been keeping an extremely low profile this month. In fact, we didn't even know where he was, until he reemerged in a little town in northern Morocco, disguised as a Boras Indian woman. We show his picture here only in profile, so that the authorities will not be able to track him down and arrest him.
The last time we saw Randy was in Athens. He had a whirlwind courtship with Paula, who proceeded to break his heart by returning to Atlanta and leaving him high and dry, minus his "chi". As we left the city, Randy was hanging desolately from a gazebo at a local park, inconsolable.
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